trying to squeeze things out of my brain for my rj again...

a summarize for the week...

• mentally tired
• unsettled problems are piling up, dono how to face it also
• very fan!
• messy
• blur
• feel like crying
• wasn't myself at all
• energies are draining off like hell
• living day by day, accept whatever it comes
• suddenly felt very "bei ai"
• starting to ans questions in class discussions le!! warming up. :)

haiz... where can i find my movtivations??

"Economics can be very day to day and sometimes common sense based. Did you find it so in today's problem and how did you go about getting the solution?"

that's was my rj... has been trying to squeeze out things from mind to write this rj. jus don know why somehow my brain has been blocked by something else.

done with rj le... but then the leo is down. cant log in n submit. the sch website has been very dotz since school started in new campus.

"NKF" these 3 letters has become my modules(micro econ, consumer pyschology, fin acc) live example. " do we hav such thing happen in singapore?" "NKF" would always be the ans.

very tire. really very tire. only the first day of week nia n i'm really very tire le... dun know where i'm going to look for energy to tahan for the rest of the week... woke up 6.20 today and took bus at 7 am, reach woodlands at 8am but reach class at 8.40. hahaha!!

At last got the date for the PP presentation liao. but my poster is 3/4 done nia. luckily still got 3 more weeks for me to complete.

JIA YOU!!! :P

"Ladies and gentleman, your attention pls, the fire alarm system has been activated in the building, we are investigating the situation. Pls remain calm and stand by near ur speakers for further instructions."

that was the announcement that went on n on, repeating again n again for 45 mins!! so irritating man!! has nv heard so many repeats of the same announcement. it must be a pre-recorded one... otherwise the person who say this, is going to hav muscle aches. haaha!!!

one of my classmate's fren's msn nick was "u should go n investigate ur voice" i agree with the person, because his voice sounds scary when he suddenly tok thru the speakers... hahah!!

financial accounting...

that was the module, i hav for today. has been looking forward to this module but it looks like kind of boring. cos all the facts and concept are quite dead. i mean hav to follow carefully and understand carefully, felt that there's not much flexibilty in this module as compare to other modules like consumer pyschology, marketing.

the toilet door...

whenever, people go into the toilet, a loud bang will come from the entrance door of the toilet. jus wondering when the toilet door will be dislocated... hahhaa!!

think i'm falling sick soon... tire, dry lips, cold in awhile, hot in awhile... haiz...

things jus happen one after another...

somethings; u do not need to spend time thinking how to solve them, because it jus ended or stop without u solving them. sometimes this end in the way u wanted to be, sometimes it ended in the way u does not want it to be or u choose to ignore it. 因为船到桥头自然直。。。

somethings; u will try ur best to think and solve it. u will try ur best to end it in a way that u wanted it to be. but... sometimes; u succeed. sometimes; u failed.

somethings; u jus don know how to solve it. sometimes, there r things that u don not really know how to face it, u might be forcing urself to face it but u jus not able to... sometimes u hope that things can solved, be it by urself or it jus ended automatically but those things jus stay there, n normally u jus do not know wat to do, how to do... or perhaps u may say u jus don know how to face it bah...

i'm having a very bad headache now... i really don know how should i face it. i really don know how should i do. i really don know what i should do, what can i do.

i hav told u, saying that i know wat to do liao rite?? n said i'll tell u when its done. actually, i'm still in a mess now. really. very very messy.

2nd day in sch

2nd day of sch

Leave home earlier than yesterday so as to catch the bus, get onto a crowded bus... sianz... so crowded, n the bag is so heavy n its hurting my shoulder also but luckily 2 stops later got a seat infront of me... hehe... so sat down, start dozing haha!! very tire and boredmah... ( got ps by val... haha!! pple take cab to sch lei)

reach woodlands station by 8.15, haha!! nv late for meeting al they all... so after shortly, ping n kar reach also; ping n kar din meet us today cos they go n try taking 969 to woodlands... so on the way to sch, start to get info frm ping on what time she reach tamp int to take 969 and whether got seats anot, hahaha!!! was pretty surprise by her ans, she told me she n kar reach tamp int at 7.05 den the queue was all the way to the small mac!!! OMG!!! so long... so of cus she din get to take the first bus lah, hav to take the second bus... got a suggestion to ping; next time while waiting for bus, maybe can get someone to go n buy breakfast, then eat as u wait... hahaha!!!

queues everywhere!!!

1. queue to board bus, queue to alight the bus
2. queue to cross the traffic lights!! when walkin if u look straight as u walk u will notice that there's alot of black ants!! haha!! black ants refers to the people along the pavement.
3. queue to take lift to class. i hav nv imagine that we hav to queue to take lifts sia... there's four lifts for the building. n the queue is not short short de hor... is very very long long de hor... full of people de hor...
4. queue to get seats in the canteen, queue to get food...
5. queue to go toilet... haha... this one go anywhere also hav to queue de...

actually wont be late for sch on the 2nd day de, but becos of no.2 n 3, i'm late for class again. hahah!! but luckily the fac is like the fac yesterday,know how uncomfortable we are in the new campus, so yesterday fac gave the class extra 10 and the fac today told the class to be in class by 8.45 instead of 8.30... ahaha!! the fac so understanding...

consumer psychology....

that is my module today, very interesting... hahaa!! like it alot... so happy that i din chose the wrong module... :P

First Day Of School; Woodlands Campus

First Day Of School; Woodlands Campus

Jus finish my lesson; done my quiz already, still left with evaluation and reflection journal. Both were not able to do as the leo is damn slow and laggy. Have been trying to do it since 3.25 but till now its still loading... dotz!!! so going to write the blog while waiting the LEO to be up and also wait for my friends to finish their lessons.

first day of sch; hmmm... i would say it din go smoothly in everything. I was late for class... so suay, late for first day of class... not i purposely de hor, was late because cant get up the first bus, totally full sia, so ha to wait for another bus, luckily the next bus that came was a double decker bus. get onto the bus at dono wat time, but still think that wont be late cos still early mah... haha!! but who knows, on the way the bus stops at every stops, n it stops for a very long time haiz... that was not all, there's a jam on the expressway... haiz!!!

reach class at ard 9, the woodlands campus was soooo big n empty sia... we took quite a long time look for the right buildings and the rite classrooms. if i were to cum to sch alone, i think i will lost my way... haha!! but luckily the fac has not marked attendance so in time for marking attendance (that was lucky... hahha!!)

jus as expected!!! VPN was down when trying to log into... the leo was slow n laggy the whole day... trying to test my patience lei!!! other than those things that happen, still got alot of things happen, ok? the handphones reception was bad, the canteen was very crowded during lunch time period, the canteen food was damn expensive and the water cooler is not done yet... de!!! still wan us to use the campus when most of the things is not ready yet... n most imp of all, the whole buildind is air-condition except the canteen, so cold man!! the corridors are colder than the classrooms, i shivers when i go out...

n can u all imagine???

i still cant do my eva when i'm almost done with my blog... haiz... nvm we all hav decided to do them at home le. wait for al to finish 6th p n we can go off le... haha!!

what should my route tml lei?? take bus to bedok int n take 168 or take bus to tamp int to take 969?? then wat time do i hav to wake up?? hav to rearrange all over again le... haiz... luckily i din take my dad's transport to sch or else i will be lost tml... haha!! :P

Falliing In Love With My Blog

Falliing In Love With My Blog

here i cum in again to blog again le... haha this is the 3rd entry le... jus felt that i love my blog so much after the new appearance of it le... :p somehow has got a sense of satisfactory bah. :) hees.

不知道为什么，一下子开心，很兴奋；一下子伤心，懊恼。觉得自己好反常，好像神精病喔！！

hmmm... sch will be starting on mon le. it will be at woodlands campus, starting sch in a new campus. think going to be like what happen 2 yrs ago bah, duno where to go, cos the class names and buildings sound so weird, dun know where r they also. duno who will be in the same class with me ( cos leo is down...) haiz, new sch term, new sch term in new campus, surely things will not go smoothly de... (haha!!) problems like no internet connection, msn connection problem ar, vpn down ar, leo down ar... all sorts of things will happen de, i think... haha... because it happens whenever a new sch term starts moreover we r at new campus lei...=) rite pple?!!

though hav been looking forward to the new sch term, but nightmares are starting too... yes!! nightmares:- FYP,PP

done!!

I hav completed my blog's new look le!! thanks al for the editing. =)

description of my blog:
first u will see a welcome box, in the welcum box, there will a writing on my current feelings.
2ndly, at the left side of the box, u will see 3 heart shapes; first one will be the profile of me, 2nd one will be my posts, 3rd one will the links to my friends' blog and the archives.

last but not least would be my tag board, remember to tag as and when u r free... haha!! most imptly, i will know who has visited my blog when u tag.=)

a brand new look

hee hee... at last!! hav change a new look for my blog, done by me lei!! hehe... but its not done yet lah... the tag board is abit dotz... (as u all can see; pls bear with it first, while i go n get help, ok?)

say bye bye to my piglet and say hello to my tatty teddy... haha!!

opps!! pls

was using my laptop, den suddenly it gives me blue screen!!

OMG!! i know u r old liao, but pls don leave me till i graduate from rp, ok? haha... because if u die before i graduate from rp, i will be gone too... all my datas, my school work, my everything and everything will be gone... for the time being i will be really good to u ok??

i cant take another blow le. i don wan to send u to emergency room again. but i will send u for check-up after first week of school.

i will make sure that u r not overloaded, i will make sure no one bangs into u, i will make sure u r clean, ok? :)

since wed, i hav been feeling very messy. my mind was totally blank since that day. i jus don know why things kept happening, one after another. don know what had happen to my surroundings. perhaps those are the tests that i hav to go thru bah.

last week i really wish that u will be able to be by my side to give me support as i feel really helpless at that point of time.

for the past two weeks, i would keep checking my phone, stare at the phone hoping the phone would ring. if it rings, i would pray that my wish would come true but it nv come true... i dont know how to describe those feelings. i hope i'm not making a big fuss of it.

to all my poly frens,
after so many things that hav happen, i'm coping with it finely. dun worry abt me,i wont break down easily because i know things will be back as normal. thank u for all the care and concern. dun worry abt me, i'm really fine. see u all in sch on mon. no matter how far or how near our classes are, must hav lunch together k?? :)

to my two girls,
dun worry, i did not misunderstand the things that u are trying to do for me. i'm really grateful that u all are there for me all the time. really thank u. dun worry, i'll be fine.

Counting down to the days to the starting of sch.

Really hope to get to meet u before sch starts. I have got lots of things to say to u.

matters are getting frm bad to worse. i don know why u wan to go ard and complain, say things till as if we wan it like that. my sis is now taking the blame. poor girl. she is now crying in front of me and i don know how to help. u think having things lost is what we wan meh?? u think cause u and ur husband to beat up ur kid is what we wan meh?? u think causing u two to quarrel is wat we wan meh??

as a mother, as an adult do u know that what u hav been doing is so childish?? and u dun worth me respecting. only that u did not try to help, u r making things worse. we only ask u to confirm, to check. we r not asking u to make ur son confess. and one more thing is WE ARE NOT SUSPECTING HIM!!! we had told u we are suspecting it to be theft too. we only wan to make sure and confirm before making a report and its an accurate one. u called my dad before we went into the police station. i heard my dad telling u everything. my dad had told u what we meant, hoping u will understand. but why in the end u make it as if we cause it??

becos of the things that we hav lost, becos of the privacy that has been invaded; our feelings i'm sure u know it. but why do u still wan to do those things to hurt us?? hav u ever thought of the words and actions u had had cause the way pple looked at us?? if its really misscommunication, i hav got nth to say. but to me, i don think is misscommunication and i don know why do u hav to do that. i know my sis don know how to say things out properly and in a correct manner, u should hav asked to speak to an adult or u should let it go as she is still young, u know her, u know what kind of person she is since u see her grow over the years.

i know that u r the youngest of all aunties and uncles, i hav seen them giving in to u, trying their best to help when u met with problems but why don u do the same to the young ones?

i felt disappointed, really disappointed.

in the past, i will always looking forward to sundays. i will always make sure that i get to stay at home to see all the aunties, uncles and cousins. i hav always like the liveliness, the noise,the fun and the feelings when they are ard. but now i drag to see that. because i know that after the whole incident, pple are going to look at us differently. the eyes, the feelings that comes from pple are going to be dotz.

to vone:
thanks for ur understanding. thanks for the concern.

Thanks for all the support from all my dear friends, without u all, i would not know what will happen to me.

while writing the blog this morning, the tears almost burst out from my eyes. the tears will come rolling down not because of the theft but because suddenly felt that the people i'm surrounded with are weird. They are very weird, they are weird in terms of character, actions, thinkings, feelings and etc.

after writing e morning entry, i felt so disappointed in them and i felt so tire at the same time. why do they hav to be like this?? what makes them to be like that?? why are they surrounding me?? why do i hav to know them?? why do they hav to be related to me?? i'm so tire, so tire and fan of their actions, their thinkings, their characters.

at that point time, first time i don wish to be at home, first time wished holidays will end immediately. first time i felt so uncomfortable staying at home, i don wan to stay home n hear the person in the house gossiping softly on the phone with his girls, saying ridiculous and untrue things, hear them making up stories.
before doing all those things, hav they ever thought that they are not that good at all or perhaps worse than the things they hav said?

after seeing the tagboard and the meet-up, i still felt fortunate to hav pple who are normal to me, to hav pple who are able to enlighten and brighten up my day surrounding me.

to huixin and xueyin:
though i din talk much abt the whole incident but really thanks for the care and worries that u all hav for me. meeting up with u 2, had really helped to cheer me up. at the same time i felt so xing fu to hav u 2 by my side.

to my rp friends:
thanks for the concern. really wish to see u all in sch soon. missed the days that we sat down to crap and fool ard during lunch-time. really missed the laughters and smile that everyone has.

THANK U PPLE!! Cont to stay normal, ok?? :-p

Angry + Worry + Frightened

On thurs evening, my sis and I found out that our discman and mp3 were missing. These 2 items were place on the table infront of the window.

Recalling what had happen:-
On wed morning:
I still saw the mp3 when I was keeping my laptop into the laptop pouch, place the mp3 on top of the laptop after that.

Wed nite:
Before going to bed, saw that the charger for the discman was on, I open the window to a small length. In the middle of the night, I suddenly heard sounds from the window, open my eyes but don see anything so close my eyes and back to sleep again.
* for convenience our mp3 and discman were always on the table, discman will always at the same place.

Thurs morning:
My brother came into my room n looked for the discman, as he wans to take the battery in the discman, but then discman was not on table. Both of us din think much as we guess our sister might hav brought it to sch bah.

In the afternoon:
My sis came back from school, she went ard to look for mp3 but den cant find it. Then she came to ask if I got take the discman cos she looking for discman after cant find the mp3. so both of us went searching for the both items. We suspect that there was pple taking the discman thru the window. As for the mp3, we suspect it might be our little cousin playing a fool as he came to my house on wed, as it happens before where he keep our things and hide them in the dustbin so we call our auntie to confirm if it is a foul but then he is still in sch so we cant confirm.

In the evening:
My parents came home, after we told them the whole incident, my dad don believe that is theft by the window cos the person need to bring ladder along if he wans to see and take things thru the window but after my experiment it, my dad reduced that it might be man on top of a man to get the things. So we decided to make police report. But we need to confirm with my little cousin to make sure that the mp3 was not hidden by him so that we can make a correct and accurate report. After our dinner which was 7 already, we prepared to set off to make police report, but before we set off my sis called my auntie to ask if she had check with her son, she scolded my sis: "I need time to do this de rite!! He jus came home only!!! If not I pay u back lah!!" dotz!!! So nvm, we went off to make police report liao.

The angry part of the incident was my that weird auntie and her husband. Pls lor, the purpose for calling and asking, is to make sure that that wasn't a foul. 'It wasnt that we suspect ur kid for stealing or taking. And hello,we r making a police report, we cant make report we are not sure of wat. In terms of mood, our mood is worse than urs lor. Huh?? N u can come telling my dad that u din wan to check becos ur husband was ard. Hello!! So wat if he’s ard?? We wan u to check not ask u to interrogate, to scold or beat ur son. Make till as if we put u in the spot like that.' The worst part was this morning, my mum told me that, my auntie called her sis (which is my big auntie) and complain that we keep hurrying her to check when her husband is ard, then cause the couple to quarrel downstairs. Then cause the couple to beat up my cousin and told my big auntie that her husband ard, the kid wont confess so hav to wait till the next day den can check
'eh!! we only ask u to check and confirm lei, din ask u to beat him up lei, n wat do u all hav to quarrel about?? Moreover u din tell us that u can only ask the next day when his dad is not ard lei, u only say u will ask when he come back from sch lei. How come u all so weird??' now make it as if it was our fault. Now my mum was so angry that she told my big auntie she wan to move house.

Yesterday I was very scare and worry. I don feel sad or feel heart pain the lost of things. Can u all imagine that there's pple standing by the window to watch u sleeping when he’s trying to steal things?? Suddenly I feel that my privacy has been invaded. I din slept well last night, I keep opening my eyes to looked and stare at the window.
Normally u all steal the clothes, slippers that were hanging outside, we already close one eyes, now u all are putting ur hands into my house, next will it be u all walking into my house to carry things?
Suddenly, I felt that my surroundings isnt that safe afterall.

To pple who are reading my blog, always make sure that ur windows and doors are locked properly, no matter u r in or out of the house. No matter wat time, walk to see and confirm when u hear noises, don be like me open eyes see nothing, den close n back to sleep.

I HATE PPLE DOUBTING ME!!!

I really hate pple doubting me!! i really cant stand pple giving me doubtful questions, and doubtful expressions!!! Especially my parents, i really cant stand them doubting me, having been their child for 20 years liao, still don understand me, still don trust me and still wan to doubt me?? really cant stand it man!! those who don know me well, when they doubt or don believe me, i can accept it, i would even accept it with a smile or a laugh but not my parents...

When i wan to do things, i will do it. when i don wan to do, no matter what u do to threaten or trying ur best to persuade me into doing it, i still wont do it... And most importantly, i wont just do it because i wan to show that i'm a good, helpful or nice person!!!

Cant stand it when my dad said: "i beg u lah, don keep sitting infront of the tv and watch tv lah, do help out in house chores..." the moment i hear this i said: "how do u know i din do house chores?" know wat he say?? he say: "cos i din see it mah" wat the!!! then i reply:" of cos lah, when i do it, u weren't ard..." the most angry and annoy is; he gave me a "are u sure?" laugh!! explode liao!!! i shoot him back " if wan to do it infront of u, i would rather don do it!! cos i don like to act and i don need to act!!!"

when u ask me to do this and that, when did i ever din do it? jus that i might not do it or get it done the moment u say lah but i will always make sure that i will get it done... and if i don wan to do it, i will say it out and will refuse to do it!!! i dont need to act to be helpful and nice infront of pple and i wont wan to do that either!!! it feel so hurt when i heard those doubtful statements. the more i think of it, the more disappointed am i. do u have to do this all the time?? don anyhow make doubtful statements when u din see it urself.

Arhh!!!